Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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