like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
