i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
