my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
