Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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