he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
