My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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