At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
