I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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