i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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