I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
