You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
