I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
