Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
