Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Randomize
