he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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