I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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