just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
