This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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