I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
