are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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