The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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