oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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