i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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