You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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