I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
