Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
