Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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