That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
