How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
