Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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