thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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