I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
