Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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