these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
