Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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