i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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