She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
