I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
