Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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