well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
