I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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