i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
