to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
