I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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