I think my vagina is haunted
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
