Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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