so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
