What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
