I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
