There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
